38 | The 3 Types of Silence

How does silence make you feel? Anxious, nervous, or maybe comfortable and at ease?

Your relationship with silence says a lot about your self value and confidence.

The way you feel about silence is greatly influenced by your history with it. Maybe someone in your past would give you “the silent treatment” when you did something they didn’t like.

Your family might avoid conflict and have a “suppressed” form of silence. Listen now to discover the 3 types of silence!

Highlights from the Episode

People interpret silence differently depending on their history.

The rarest form of silence is where no one feels pressure to engage.

The form of silence that’s really a passive aggressive fear of rejection.

How the silent treatment can damage your relationship with silence in other situations.

Natural responses to new forms of silence and how it can build your self confidence.

More About Silence and Self Value

Feeling pressure to fill silence can indicate a few things. First, you could feel a sense of inadequacy if you’re not actively contributing to a conversation.

This is fueled by low self esteem and when you believe your perspective has value, you won’t feel so much pressure to dominate every conversation you have.

In reality, confident people are not always adding their opinion. They know if they give a few pieces of quality advice, they’re adding value.

But if you’re lacking self value, you might feel like what you’re saying isn’t enough. So you keep filling the silence in an effort to appear knowledgable or valuable in the eyes of others.

Second, it could indicate a topic is being avoided.

If you’re talking about something else, the “elephant in the room” can’t be brought up. So in an effort to avoid conflict or rejection, you fill the silence to keep the conversation light.

Finally, you could feel at peace with silence. When you’re comfortable in silence it can mean you don’t feel pressure or expectations from yourself or the people you’re with. You feel safe enough to just exist without having to “earn” your place.

On this episode, I mentioned a free body confidence guide called Thoughts that Uplift. You can grab your copy here!

Being mindful of your relationship of silence is the first step. Then, you can work towards increasing your comfortability with silence. When you’re comfortable with silence it strengthens your resilience and sense of self worth. That way when others misuse silence, you’re still in control of your emotions.

This is such a huge topic, which I could talk about forever!

What’s your relationship with silence like? Does any of this ring true for you?

Tell me in the comments!

Make sure you download your copy of Thoughts that Uplift if you want to increase your confidence and help heal your relationship with silence!


April 2, 2018


Rebekah Buege is a body confidence coach helping strong women process critical thoughts and heal insecurities.

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