64 | 7 Steps to Boost Your Confidence with Emotional Intelligence with Anna Tsui

Emotions are a powerful tool you can use to boost your confidence.

People think being emotional is a negative or uncontrollable quality in women.

It really doesn’t have to be.

When you learn how to understand and support your emotional health using emotional intelligence, you can harness the positive power of your feelings.

That might sound kinda weird right now, but my friend Anna Tsui explains it better in this episode.

Anna is the founder of The Intuitive Business School, an intensive program that helps coaches, healers and business owners build their signature programs, fearlessly scale their businesses and use their genius as fuel for growth.

Let’s get right into her steps for boosting your confidence using emotional intelligence!

1. Know the Difference Between Arrogance and Confidence

Thinking positively about yourself is different than being arrogant.

Anna shares a story about being raised to downplay her talents and interests to be seen as humble.

There’s always a balance between arrogance, confidence, and humility.

When you allow yourself to get comfortable with the idea that, yes, you are in fact pretty awesome – it’s so much easier to see your emotions as positive.

2. Accept Your Soft Side

Especially for ambitious women, we try to resist our emotional side because we don’t want to be seen as soft.

But you can be confident and soft. Softness is not a negative quality, in fact, I think it’s what gives women the potential for emotional strength.

3. Small Actions, Big Results

There’s no big secret to having confidence, you just need to practice it.

Just like there’s no secret to being a good piano player.

No one was born playing the piano, they practiced and got really good.

The same is true with confidence. Instead of trying to do these huge things, take small steps each day!

4. Speak out loud what you enjoy

Communicate your preferences – no matter how small.

If you’d prefer a different kind of tea, ask for it.

So often, we respond with “whatever is fine!” trying to seem agreeable and positive.

But there’s nothing wrong with communicating your preferences. It helps people get to know you better and you actually end up getting what you want.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been at the salon or spa and they ask me how the temperature of the water or massage table is and I just say, “it’s fine”

When what I really wanted to say was, “it’s a little warm”

Simple things like that add up over time to build your confidence.

5. Speak Up to Influence

Don’t wait for someone to ask your opinion, especially at work.

The worst thing that could happen is people don’t love your suggestion or idea, big deal.

It’s better to share your ideas and believe you’re in the room for a purpose than keep everything to yourself.

Give yourself permission to share your opinion the next time you’re in a group at work or socially.

Expanding your influence helps grow your confidence.

6. Express Your Emotions

Emotions carry energy in our bodies.

If you don’t believe that, think about the last time someone lied to you.

You probably felt sick to your stomach, right?

Yeah, that’s an example of the negative energy you felt in your body.

So when you’re feeling tense, anxious, or insecure – expressing those emotions helps release the energy out of your body.

It’s the same reason you feel so much better after telling the truth about something.

The truth will set you free – it sets the negative energy free from your body.

Anna suggests starting something called a shadow notebook, which is a book of the doubts you have.

I suggest also starting a confidence notebook to keep track of the positive feelings you have, too!

7. Detach Your Identity from Outcomes

Believing in yourself starts from realizing you’re not in control of how things turn out.

Let me say that again.

You’re not in control of the outcome of your actions.

The only thing you can control is you, that’s all.

Trust that your actions are going to bring you to the place you’re supposed to be.

Don’t get too worried about HOW it’s all supposed to happen.

Just know that whatever happens is on purpose.

Remember that you’re not a failure when things don’t go how you want them to.

You fail when you stop trying.

Feelings like guilt, shame, and failure don’t have to get in the way of your confidence.

You can actually use these 7 steps to realize they’re PART of living a life where you trust yourself.


February 7, 2019


Rebekah Buege is a body confidence coach helping strong women process critical thoughts and heal insecurities.

subscribe here

Confidence mini-series library


Push notifications & journal prompts


Ad-free listening


Exclusive podcast content


train your mind, enjoy your life.

Self- Coaching Subscription

Straight from the Heart

take your confidence to-go

Ready for More?

Hello, Queen

nope. I don't like free advice.

You're invited to join the email newsletter for modern women going from disconnected to fully present in their body.