Comparing your body to others is a very common thing.
You don’t have to beat yourself up when you realize you’ve fallen into this again.
It’s a vicious cycle and it can ruin your day without being hard on yourself for doing it in the first place.
But there are ways to pull yourself out of it.
Here are 7 things to remember when you start comparing your body to others.
There are certain things about your appearance that are pre-determined by your DNA. The way your parents look is going to influence the way you look. Try finding people who are attractive that are the same ethnicity as you and remember there are attractive things about you.
Even some of the most objectively attractive people in the world have haters. So why try and fit into everyone’s definition of beauty? Everyone has a different idea of what’s attractive and what’s not. Decide for yourself what’s beautiful for you – maybe it’s not even appearance.
The chances of you finding someone in the world that finds you attractive is 100%. There are 7 billion people in the world. Especially if you’re in a relationship right now, your partner finds something about you attractive. If you’re struggling with feeling good about your body, ask your partner what attracts them to you.
Your body might be someone else’s “goal body” but that doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to feel like crap about it. Don’t feel guilty about disliking your body just someone else might have it “worse” than you. Your feelings aren’t any less valid because.
Don’t let people minimize your struggle because they think theirs is worse. I don’t want you to feel like because your struggle looks different than what you see that yours isn’t as bad. Don’t compare your struggle with someone else’s. If it’s hard for you, it’s hard for you. That deserves respect and attention. It’s okay to have negative thoughts about the way your body looks. What’s important is that you find some ways to start liking your body.
In the moment, you can practice mindfulness and ask yourself, “what am I choosing to believe in this moment?” Are you choosing to believe you are lacking in some area? Or can you choose to believe you have everything you need within you? Your mind is the most powerful tool you have. Training your thoughts to uplift you and encourage you is an important life skill anyone can learn.
You don’t have to love your body in order to love yourself. You are not your body. There are so many other things that make you who you are besides your body. Finding your confidence is about accepting your body, but liking who you are as a person. Women aren’t put on this earth to be seen by people. When you get caught up in trying to meet everyone’s expectations, it’s really hard to
Typically, when we try and feel good about ourselves, we look for ways we are better than someone else. That’s not what body confidence is about. Your value is not relative to the value of others. Everyone has value within themselves, you don’t have to be superior to someone in order to be confident. In fact, body confidence is about being happy about who you are without feeling the need to compare your body to someone else’s.
Comparing your body to others tricks you into believing human worth is a zero-sum game. It’s not.
Everyone has worth. The way your body looks doesn’t give you more or less value as a human. Sometimes that’s a hard thing to realize when you put a lot of worth in your appearance.
Maybe you get lots of compliments on the way you look and you think that’s the only thing about you that makes you valuable.
You have value in so many other ways, you just need to reflect on it and find it. It might sound difficult right now, but it is possible.
Rebekah Buege is a body confidence coach helping strong women process critical thoughts and heal insecurities.
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