Being a single woman carries a stench of unworthiness. The idea a woman would voluntarily chose singleness over a relationship is a red flag for most people. But for women who actually take the time to invest in personal development, they realize just how rare they are and just how much they’re not going to settle for less than they deserve.
The obvious answer is because they aren’t desperate. Confident women aren’t looking to complete themselves with another person. They feel complete and whole on their own, so adding someone to their life is an option, not a necessity. It’s like going grocery shopping when you just ate lunch. Chances are you won’t leave the store with 12 cans of chick peas and grand plans of homemade hummus when all you needed was zucchini, Nutella, and almond milk.
Confident women are comfortable being single because they aren’t proving their worth to anyone. Sometimes it’s easier to be in an ‘okay’ relationship because at least you have a +1 to weddings and you can avoid embarrassing conversations about how you’re ‘still single.’ But when you’re confident in yourself, you don’t need to lean on the presence of a man to bring you validation. You literally don’t care if people judge you for being single because you know it’s better to be single and lonely sometimes than in the wrong relationship.
Confidence comes from placing your self worth in things that don’t change. So that can’t be a relationship, your body, your career, or the approval or opinions of others. The only thing that isn’t going to change throughout your life is your identity from your Creator.
God gets to decide who you are and what your worth is because he made you. The good news is that He thinks you’re pretty valuable…just look in His word and you’ll see how much He cares for you – even though you’re not perfect!
Rebekah Buege is a body confidence coach helping strong women process critical thoughts and heal insecurities.
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