No matter what your relationship status is right now, you can still enjoy Valentine’s Day!
Here’s my thing:
The only people who don’t like Valentine’s Day are the ones with high expectations that never get met so they act super salty about it and pretend not to like nice things.
You’re telling me you don’t want flowers?
You don’t want a cute teddy bear?
You’re gonna say no to a fancy dinner date?
I doubt it.
If you’re feeling bummed out about Valentine’s Day it’s probably because your expectations aren’t aligned with your reality.
So I’m here to help you fix that.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not just talking to all my single ladies out there.
People in relationships can sometimes have even worse V-days than someone without a Valentine.
It’s better to have no expectations than to have them not met.
So I’ve got a few tips for enjoying the day, keeping your standards high but your expectations in check.
Okay – so today isn’t going to be about romantic love for you…big deal?
Nothing has meaning until you give it meaning.
So for you, Valentine’s Day can mean celebrating the love you have in your life.
Maybe you spend time with your nieces or nephews.
You could treat yourself to a spa day or go to an animal shelter and walk dogs (omg – this is such a cute idea)
Especially if all your friends are coupled up, you have to take some time for self love.
Run a bubble bath, go to a barre class – and celebrate being single because it is pretty awesome.
Oh, you’re not sure if he’s your ‘boyfriend’ or not?
You don’t need labels to enjoy yourself and be confident in the situation.
Enjoy the moment you’re in right now.
There’s no rush to make things overly romantic or committed.
It’s okay to take small steps because eventually you’ll find the person you’re going to be with forever.
When you don’t enjoy the process of falling in love with someone, you’ll miss out on the in between moments before you’re head over heels.
If you want to get them something, do it.
If you don’t want to – then don’t.
Trust your intuition because chances are, if you’re feelin’ it, he is too.
I’m a gift giver, so I got a few things for a guy I’m dating. He’s going to love them and they’re not super extravagant or romantic, so it’s perfect.
He’s not going to be weirded out and I’m not going to feel let down if he doesn’t get me anything.
Give without the expectation of something in return.
Always do this and you’ll never be disappointed.
However, if you get him something and he doesn’t even text you on Valentine’s Day…maybe stop seeing him – okay?
No matter how long you’ve been in a relationship, you still need to fill your cup first.
Your partner can’t fill a void in your life.
So if you have really high expectations for Valentine’s Day and your partner never fulfills them, you need to talk about it.
If you like being surprised by big romantic gestures, tell your partner that.
If you want something specific, tell your partner that.
Whatever your expectations are, it’s only fair that you communicate them.
Otherwise you’re forcing your partner to guess and ultimately fail because no one is a mind reader.
Help him out a little and communicate your expectations – if you have them.
There’s a difference between standards and expectations.
Oooo the confident girl’s sweet spot.
This is where you know you deserve someone who’s going to treat you right, but you’re not attached to WHO that person is going to be.
You can’t expect every guy you date to meet your high standards – that’s crazy.
Just remain objective in the relationship until you decide if he’s right for you.
Don’t put a bunch of pressure or expectations on someone until you know they’re capable and willing to meet them.
Otherwise, you’re going to be let down a lot and your partner is going to always feel like he’s failing. You will continue to lower your standards and they will be less and less motivated to reach them.
Which, in some cases, is totally okay – it just means you’re wrong for each other.
Someone being wrong for you doesn’t mean you’ve failed.
If anything, it means you’re strong enough to know you deserve better.
So this Valentine’s Day, have the courage to communicate your expectations – if you have them.
And if you don’t, just enjoy where you’re at and celebrate all the love you have in your life.
Oh, and P.S.
I love you.
Rebekah Buege is a body confidence coach helping strong women process critical thoughts and heal insecurities.
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