I grew up on a healthy diet of rap and gospel music.
For a while there, the rap side of me was taking over more of my heart than the gospel side… But of course, like He does, Jesus pursued my heart and brought me back to His arms. But that hood side of me will never die (I am a big fan of KB, Lecrae, and Andy Mineo now)
I drive a cherry red Mercedes with tan leather interior and it makes me wanna die every time I see it. But my first car?
My dad bought it for me “to use” – he was very clear that the car did not belong to me. The paint color was raisin, to be exact – with grey cloth interior. He wrote a check to the old lady who just drove it to church on Sundays, she wasn’t comfortable carrying that much cash.
(my red Mercedes came from an old man who only drove it to the grocery store…I’m noticing a pattern!)
It wasn’t worth a whole lot, but it had everything I needed – plus it was my favorite color. I loved that car. I still do.
To anyone else, it wasn’t something special, but to me it meant freedom and a taste of independence.
But when my younger brother got his license and I was going off to college, it was time for a change. I got a 2007 silver Mazda 6 with a punchy gas pedal and a 6 disc cd changer. Definitely an upgrade.
Technically, my car was “better” than his, but I still felt protective of my first car. When I visited home during the semester, I noticed the slow neglect.
Yellow crumbs in the seams of the seats. White salt lines on the edge of the wheel wells. Dripping car paint from homecoming hazing he didn’t bother to clean – the worst offense.
Each visit home made it harder to see that car sitting in the driveway, withering it further towards ‘beater’ status.
“The car sucks anyway,” he said.
“it’s not like it’s a super nice car, who cares if it gets dirty.”
Didn’t he realize how lucky he was to inherit an older car that was actually in good shape? Didn’t he know how long it took dad and me to find a perfect car with the right number of miles for the price? He had no idea what he was ruining.
He didn’t know what went into finding a good, reliable car. I didn’t know how to get him to appreciate it the way I did – and eventually it ended up in a junk yard, scrapped for parts.
You’re like the first car he loves so much, and he handed your body over to you to be in charge of it. He wants so badly for you to see how awesome it really is.
How are you treating it?
What do you say about it?
Do you understand the care and thought that went into making you? I don’t say this to make you feel guilty – I say this because it’s what I needed to hear years ago when I was constantly criticizing, comparing, and “working on” my appearance because I thought it wasn’t good enough.
I’m not preaching from a place of perfection. I’m sharing from a place of grace. Everyone struggles under the weight of unrealistic expectations.
But remember the love God has for you and how he created your body on purpose.
Rebekah Buege is a body confidence coach helping strong women process critical thoughts and heal insecurities.
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